Quarantine and Chill
Okay, so I’ll be the first to admit that not a lot has been going on. I seem to get out of bed, eat, exercise, and then find myself looking for something to watch, exercise again, eat again, watch more stuff, and then sleep. Repeat indefinitely. Therefore, I thought I’d give you a very “Quadzilla Sam” commentary on the movies and shows of my stay-cation. Be wary of minor spoilers and major sass.
Tiger King
Commentary
If you like exotic animals, cults, questionable disappearances and memes, this show has three of each all fighting to be the ultimate American. It also doubles as a great anti-tourism ad for the once grand USA. I can tell you right now, my mum never was interested in going to America, and now I’m pretty sure she’s adamant about it. Who thinks Carole Baskin did it?
Do I recommend it?
Yes, it’s mindless fun during this pandemic.
Where I Watched It?
Netflix
National Treasure
Commentary
(SPOILER ALERT)
Guy wants treasure, guy wants girl, guy gets treasure and guy gets girl. Add in plot points that will low-key, give you anxiety and have you yelling at the screen. Also, Nicholas Cage at his very best. Plus let’s all admit we’re definitely Riley sometimes.
Do I recommend it?
Yes, I give this 4/5 Cage wigs.
Where I Watched It?
Netflix
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (the second one)
Commentary
Guys family accused of killing Lincoln, Guy wants treasure (to prove family’s innocence), guy wants girl back, guy (with help from Helen Mirren) finds treasure, guy wins girl back.
Do I recommend it?
Yes, honestly, I think I like this one more than first, because of Helen Mirren. Helen Mirren is gold.
Where I Watched It?
Disney+
The Imagineering Story
Commentary
Did you know Disney has theme parks? Okay so everyone knows, but this is a fascinating look into all the ideas, construction and sheer mind-blowing scale of all the parks and how the classic rides were dreamt up and executed/accomplished/achieved.
Do I recommend it?
F*ck yeah! (That’s all that needs to be said). I’ve been lucky enough to go to Disneyland twice, but now I want to start playing Disney Theme Park bingo on my bucket list. Gotta catch ‘em all!
Where I Watched It?
Disney+
Blackbeard’s Ghost
Commentary
I heard a description of this movie on a podcast I listen to called The Weekly Planet, and I honestly thought they made it up cause the story is wild. Blackbeard's ghost is stuck in limbo between life and death caused by a hex his ex-wife placed on him. The only way to break the hex is to do a truly good and kind-hearted deed for someone other than himself (a seemingly achievable task). So, how does the most feared man on the sea do this? His ghost helps a local school athletics team win a competition… Honestly, this is a wild movie idea, and apart form a few rather outdated jokes and scenes (seriously these older movies are whack) it's got some impressive visual effects for the time and fun ghost gags.
I found out later on that Q’s dad watched this movie in theatres as a child and loved it. Which possibly explains why he jumped at the chance to help excavate and examine Blackbeard’s actual shipwreck. Yes, I’m serious. Blackbeard’s actual ship. The Queen Anne’s Revenge. I’ve seen his presentation. There was a gonorrheal syringe... A Pirate’s Life Not for Me.
Do I recommend it?
Yeah, definitely! Yargh! [Pirate for ‘yes’]
Doctor Who (season 5 & 6)
Commentary
Season five kicks off a new storyline for the Doctor (Matt Smith). The freshly regenerated Doctor is thrown into the latest 'potentially universe ending’ mystery when he discovers a crack in a young Scottish girl’s bedroom wall. While some critics say Matt Smith isn't the best portrayal of The Doctor, personally, I think his balance of vivacious optimism for the good in life and the utter anguished trauma from his past makes the perfect personality for whimsical adventures with The Doctor’s patented moral code.
It's spacey-wacey and timey-wimey and some of Steven Moffat’s finest episodes as a showrunner.
Do I recommend it?
Yes, I give it 4.5/5 bow ties. P.S. Bow ties are cool. PPS. Matt Smith is my favourite Doctor don’t @ me.
Where I Watched It?
Amazon (but it’s also on Stan)
Picard
Commentary
Dear Lord! There is a lot of backstory here… But before you think all is lost, I assure you with a few simple background dives into the “bad guys list” you will have enough knowledge to thoroughly enjoy the show. It’s even enjoyable if you know no Star Trek whatsoever, just know there are a lot of inside jokes you will miss. The great Captain Jean-Luc Picard is back, baby! Long gone are his prime days leading discovery and peacekeeping missions through the universe. A peaceful life now greets him each day on a French winery, but the once resilient captain is haunted by his past... Throw in some classic Star Trek characters for the fanservice, a scattering of the baddest of the bad guys and a new cause for his redemption and you have yourself a thrilling, fast-paced show whizzing around space in the Star Trek fashion fans have come to know and love.
Do I recommend it?
Engage! Make it so! [insert more iconic lines here] In other word, yes. I’m not super familiar with the Star Trek universe but thoroughly enjoyed this galactic romp.
Where I Watched It?
CBS All Access
Disney Fairy Tale Weddings
Commentary
Ever wanted to see over the top proposals, weddings that take over theme parks, private islands that leave you feeling like your idea for a proposal is and was complete trash??? (I’m sure this is a universal desire.) Well, leave it to Disney to raise the bar for everyone out there, with this exorbitantly funded show making every prince and princess’ dreams come true. The scale and planning of some of these proposals and weddings are just wild, naturally accompanied by famous artists performing their first dance tracks. There are great moments including an ugly cry on a glacier, dance battle with some uncoordinated groomsmen who tried really hard, and a flash mob that makes High School Musical look like an actual high school production.
Do I recommend it?
Do I want to feel like a princess? Yes. If you love Disney, want to feel like a princess or just have a good cry and laugh, check it out.
Where I Watched It?
Disney+
The following are shows that I only watched a single episode of! So take my opinions with caution.
Be our Chef
Commentary
This show is an odd combination of family-oriented, cooking, and Disney that didn’t really hit the mark for me. Plus, it’s hosted by Angela from The Office (US) and I can’t really imagine her as anything else, so that made things weird. I was hoping for a more adult, Food Network show, but I realize now that was a weird expectation for a Disney+ reality show. While it’s probably fun for someone, maybe families with small children trying to get them interested in cooking, this was not for me.
Do I recommend it?
Not particularly, no. Sorry Disney+, maybe do more adult-oriented reality shows at some point.
Where I Watched It?
Disney+
Once Upon a Time
Commentary
All your favorite Disney characters are cursed by the Evil Queen to spend eternity in hell… Real life Maine, USA. The catch? None of the characters know who they really are and are living as rather dull versions of themselves stuck in a small town that time forgot, aptly named, Storybrooke. The show kicks off with the only child in the town who knows they are really fairytale characters trying to expose the truth. It’s been nominated for 86 awards and won 12, so I guess it’s probably pretty good.
Do I recommend it?
Maybe. I’ve only seen one episode, because it came across as one of those shows that takes a while to get invested in all the characters and I didn’t know enough Disney or have enough patience right now. Get back to me on this one.
Where I Watched It?
Netflix
Say Yes to the Dress: America!
Commentary
Why not marry 51 couples, one from every state (plus Puerto Rico) in America? Leave it to Randy and the team at Kleinfeld’s in New York to surprise couples from all over the country with their dream dress and fitting in the most prestigious wedding dress store in the country. I’ve only seen one episode, it was for the West Virginia bride. And let me tell you, this episode involved a psychic who made an employee cry about her dead grandma. I’m sold.
Do I recommend it?
As a seasoned veteran of the Say Yes to the Dress franchise (how many spin-offs are there now?!), I will probably be keeping up with this one and sassing many dresses in the process. Satin is too heavy! Appliques are not in! BoHo does not make you a quirky hipster and, honestly, the employees are sick of the ambiguity because everyone thinks BoHo is a different thing! Rant over. Drop mic.
Where I Watched It?
TLC Go
Well, there you have it. A horrifying look into how much movie and TV streaming I’ve been consuming in quarantine. Don’t judge me. Me and my cake are really enjoying the binge. We all know half of you reading this aren’t even wearing pants. Send recommendations my way!